Casual Curses

• "May the toilet paper run out on you, and the next roll be out of reach"
• "May all your eggs be undercooked and may all your bacon burn."
• "May you run out of your drink just when your thirst touches you worst"
• "May there be Legos wherever your bare feet step."
• "May you gain enough weight to need new pants"
• "May you oversleep on the day of your performance review."
• "May you spill your drink just before you go out with a new relationship, that you might look like you peed yourself"
• "May you always have an itch that you just can't scratch."
• "May your food cause you to run to the bathroom, and not make it in time"
• "May you spill bleach on your favorite shirt."
• "May your tires go flat (including the spare)"
• "May your best friend forget your birthday."
• "May your MOTHER forget your birthday"
• "May you run out of gas three miles from the nearest station while it's pouring down rain."
• "May a sharp pebble find it's way into your shoe."
• "May a dog urinate on your belongings."
• "May food become constantly stuck in your teeth."
• "May you never be able to get the bartender's attention."
• "May you bite down on a seed in every fruit you eat."
• "May you always be a dollar short when the bills are due."
• "May you never have enough change for the parking meter"
• "And may the meter readers be attentive."
• "May your tires find every pothole."
• "May the next person you piss off be a witch."